Perspective

The past few days I've been getting a number of compliments on my weight loss. It feels great to have friends and family tell me how great I'm looking. I love hearing these compliments. It helps me keep motivated to keep going when I'm having a tough day. It also helps me know that all my efforts haven't been for nothing.

But it's also got me thinking a lot about perspective.

I am currently at the weight I was before I got pregnant with my son a year ago. And when I think about where I was a year ago and how I felt about myself at that time it's interesting to me to see how much my mind set and the mind set of those around me has changed.

Last year when I was at 175 pounds I was so upset with myself that I had allowed myself to gain that much weight. I hated what I looked like and avoided mirrors. I would get so depressed each day as I would search for something to wear that looked even semi-decent on me. I would never have heard how thin I was a year ago. No one ever told me that I was looking really good and wondering what I was doing to stay so healthy & fit.

Fast forward to now. I'm once again at 175 (ok...really 173) pounds, but I have a completely different outlook on life. I get so excited that I can once again fit into my old jeans I hated so much a year ago. I look at that picture I took a few weeks back and am so proud of myself. I'm happy that I can fit in my "fat" clothes. Because that means that I am no longer in my maternity clothes (aka REALLY fat clothes).

So what's changed? I mean...weight wise I'm the same as I was a year ago. So again I ask, what has changed?

Well for one thing - 175 is no longer the heaviest I have ever been. And compared to the 198 that I was at a couple of months ago, 175 is pretty thin. And since friends and family knew me at my heaviest they can look at me and are also tricked into thinking that I'm thin. Our perspective has changed.

It's kind of like springtime vs. fall. In the fall when the temperatures are finally beginning to drop after a hot summer, 65 degrees feels almost frigid. That's when you bring out the sweaters, pants, and boots. And even a jacket. But in spring, when you're finally getting out of the freezing winter, 65 feels hot! You bring out the shorts and short sleeve shirts and still feel over heated.

So a year a go I was entering fall. I had been thin once and then gained weight again and so I felt fatter than ever and hated what I looked like. But now I'm entering springtime. I've been dealing with an ugly winter in my life and I'm finally coming out of it. I'm feeling better about myself every day.

It also reminds me of a conversation that I had with my friend a few year ago. My friend had lost a significant amount a weight and was looking really good. Then I moved away and didn't see my friend for a few months. When I saw her again I asked if she had lost more weight because she looked thinner to me. But she answered no. She said that it was because I just remembered her being fat and so it was just that she looked thinner than I remembered her being.

So yes, I am where I was at a year ago. But because I used to be so much worse off than where I am today, life is much better for me now. It's all about perspective.

I'm glad that my perspective has changed. I'm glad that I can look at myself in the mirror and not completely detest the person staring back at me. I still wish that I was thinner, but I also know that with time I will get to my goal. Yes, I still have more than 40 pounds to lose, but I've already lost 25 pounds - and that's an accomplishment. I'm happy with how far I've come and am excited to see what's coming my way in the next few months!